Inviting Intimacy
This is your reminder: you don’t have to spend time with God… you get to spend time with Him. Change your perspective.
That’s what my therapist told me as I cried my eyes out. I knew this season was something different. It was a lot that I had buried. I knew God had gotten me out of my situation and He was the only one who was truly going to get me through this season of new beginnings. But I was so tired. I was exhausted. I really only got up to work. And when I got home, I had strength to finish that work and eat. That’s it. My personal time with God had went from 1-2 hours in the morning to virtually nothing except my routine “thank you Jesus” when I opened my eyes.
But time with my Heavenly Father was not an obligation I was going to get punished for. That perform or be punished mindset was exactly what was hurting me. God was inviting to go beyond the surface now. More than the checklist. More than what I could regurgitate from someone else’s amazing revelation.
God didn’t want bible readings. Though that may have been nice.
God didn’t want loud, voracious prayers, although I’m sure He wouldn’t have minded that either.
He just wanted me.
My friend reminded me that in the moments it took me to build strength to get out the bed, was also was time I could spend with God. Talking to Him. Expressing myself to Him. Crying if needed. Being quiet to listen.
That part was a problem because I certainly didn’t trust myself to hear Him at this point.
She had an answer for that too. I was to write down whatever I thought He said in my notebook, and then just listen. But engaging Him, writing it down, reviewing it later would also help build my confidence again.
If you are in a season of rebuilding your faith. Rediscovering the God you once loved. Or gaining confidence in the solidity of your relationship. This is your reminder as well.
You can acknowledge his presence in your everyday things. You don’t have to have hours of undisturbed time locked away in a prayer closet. That’s not the only way to spend time with Him. You can acknowledge his presence in the everyday things: while in the shower, doing the dishes, driving to work, in the midst of schoolwork, even laying in the bed attempting to get yourself together in the morning.
Stop beating yourself up because it doesn’t look like a past season or what others are showing you on social media. It is a relationship. Meaning it is unique to you, your personality and this current season.
God knows what you need. Even if it’s just loving on you unconditionally without you doing a thing for Him that day.
Reading your bible is for you.
Prayer is for you.
Meditation is for you.
Stop thinking that you have fallen short because you aren’t doing what you think you should. Ask yourself, what opportunities has God presented to you recently that you haven’t accepted the invitation? That’s where you meet Him. That’s where the relationship thrives, grows deeper and more intimate. That is relationship. In good times and rough times, it is still there. God is still there. Just waiting to pick up where you left off. Not with anger. Not looking at His watch, but with the safe gentle presence of a loving father. Accept the invitation. You’ll be glad you did.