You DO Deserve Better
Welcome back to our singles series! Last week, I mentioned it’s time in this season to lay down those fears. This week, I was led to touch on something that could possibly tie into that for some of you. For others it’s going to call on you to be more vulnerable.
During your single season it’s very smart to be proactive and work on yourself. In other words, personally develop. Spiritually, physically, mentally, all of it combined to make you an even more amazing individual. We all need to work on ourselves. However, it can be easier in your younger years to figure out your strengths, weaknesses, what you like and what you won’t put up with. At times there’s this misconception that you are required to work on yourself and when you get it right Mr. Right will show up. But that’s not the case. No one is perfect and everyone’s story is different. He may come in the middle of your development. He may come in the beginning. He may come when you’ve dealt with most of it. Or perhaps he’s the one that really drives you to face yourself in the mirror initially.
However long or short your single season, and no matter how much you become self-aware to know where you need growth, I pray that you really learn that you deserve love. Not just any love. But the kind you actually, unconditionally deserve, the kind you want, the kind that God has designed for you. The kind that people say doesn’t exist because they’ve been burned so many times and don’t want you to get your own hopes up. But you actually deserve that.
A man who loves God.
Respects you.
Admires you for your purity.
Guards you.
Protects you.
Leads you.
Confident within himself.
Gentle towards you.
Yes, YOU deserve that!
What good is learning how to love, or “the 5 steps to become a godly wife”, if you don’t know how to receive? Part of my problem when I experienced my first heartbreak was that I feared moving on more than I did the toxic relationship. So I stayed way past my due date. Even after that, learning to be receptive to what I actually deserved in a relationship has been a hard fought battle.
Moment of transparency: There was a guy last year I spoke with regularly that I thought liked me. I prayed about it and the next day he text me. He wanted to take me out. My response???
“Lord, I’m not ready!”
I seriously just prayed for confirmation of some sort then got scared. Of course, he doesn’t know I thought that. I said yes to him for the date. But why did I have that thought anyhow? Why does a functional relationship where someone is genuinely interested seem out of question?
Again, no one is perfect. But I deserve someone who will fight for me as much as I fight to be committed to them. And again, you deserve that to. If you don’t think so, I challenge you to ask yourself why you believe that.
Insecurities?
Past hurt?
Tired of dating?
What you saw growing up?
Lay all that to the side. ALL of it! I dare you to ask God what He desires for you with your purpose partner. I dare you to declare that it’s okay to open up to someone at the risk of them rejecting you. Because there’s going to come a time, when there won’t be judgment, but instead complete understanding and amazement of your strength.
You are God’s daughter. Maybe your future husband won’t be everything you want, but he will be all that you need. I’m not there yet, so maybe I can’t tell you how you will know, but I believe he’ll be a reflection of God’s heart toward you. That’s when it will hit different.
But I’m learning that it’s okay for me to receive that for myself, because of part hurt and trust issues. I just believe you can’t truly receive love if you’re fearful it will run away. So here come more walls crumbling down at the feet of my Father.
It will be alright, because unlike before, I’m talking to God who’s right by my side showing me who is who. So, if you find yourself in a position of thinking maybe it’s not for you, it is. The stakes are just high, and you must learn when, where and with who to open up. It’s a risk that is worth it all when you finally get it right. Whatever is holding you back from the truth, if you didn’t let it go last week, now is the time to declare it over yourself.
You deserve it because you deserve the best God has for you.
Believe it and receive it.
Keep your crown up,