Recognizing my strengths
I stared at the blank page with nothing to give. As if I was face to face with a brick wall and no space to breathe. I had nothing. Nothing to give. No vivid memory to work up. Nothing.
What am I good at?
I twirled the pen in hand at this “homework” I had gained about learning to celebrate myself. I finally managed to sound off a few suggestions a few moments later for the barest of compliments.
I’m nice. I’m patient with people. I’m helpful.
Quicker than the ideas came, tears started to form and I quickly put my pen down. This time because I was upset. The attributes that described me suddenly became my worst inner enemy. This part of me had no boundaries. This trait of mine let me down. I allowed myself to get hurt, taken advantage of, and left without a sense of self because I was… nice, patient with others, and helpful.
I didn’t like me. Luckily, somewhere deep down in my soul, I knew that wasn’t true. Subconsciously I knew my heart. Sporadic thoughts of compliments from various people throughout the years began to appear in my mind. Now we were getting somewhere.
Why is it so hard to acknowledge the good in us? Why do we not give the same energy to celebrating ourselves as we do to tear ourselves down? It’s a pattern that needs to be broken if we are going to gain back who we are. Getting to the root of the issue is covered in excuses and deflection.
That night I was given a task to help celebrate myself. I was taking the first steps in moving from a negative narrative to a more positive internal talk. But I learned 3 insightful things about myself that night that I think can you help you in your process too:
1 I’m not used to talking nice to myself. I thought I enjoyed personal development all in the vain of being better than the day before. But it turns out I just had nothing good to say about myself and gravitated to nitpicking me apart. I’m now committed to having improved thoughts, words and beliefs about myself. Flaws and all.
“I was taking the first steps in moving from a negative narrative to a more positive internal talk.”
2 Realizing others took advantage of what made me myself, While I let myself down because I trusted the wrong people, my gifts in the right community would allow me to flourish. I decided I would not let those good parts of me only live with those who failed me in life.
3 The devil can no longer hold me back. I took my power back that night. Of course, I didn’t realize it right there, but I can see it now. The enemy tried to take me out. But now, I’m more focused on being my full self and all that I already am.
If I'm going to be the woman I know I can be then it’s time for these lies to stop. I’m thankful for that night because I got to be honest with myself about where I was and how it differed from where I was headed. Take the time to celebrate your strengths. Acknowledge how amazing you are. Love who you are and your perspective of life.
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