Learning to Trust Yourself to Hear God Again

One of the hardest lessons in healing for me has been learning to trust myself again. 

I let myself down. I put myself in compromising situations. I stayed too long in toxic relationships. Yet, I knew better and somehow I didn’t do better. 

I miss the girl of my younger days. She was confident in who she was becoming. She knew exactly what she wanted for her future. She had a complete layout plan for how it was going to go.  She for sure was ambitious in the face of fear. Because she knew there was more for her. She saw the vision for more well beyond her present moments. Then on top of that, she discovered a relationship with God and then you really couldn’t tell her anything!

And then life happened. The veil of delusion lifted to reveal reality. Certain people in her life weren’t so godly as they projected. Sweeping things under the rug was no longer a solution. Time revealed hearts close to her weren’t as selfless as they appeared in ways that discernment could not catch her attention. Over time she becomes more and more tired. She’s weighed down by the decisions of her past. She’s exhausted. She’s empty. That vibrant energy was gone. 

Somewhere in learning to finally choose myself over people, I realized I lost my confidence in what God was saying to me. And now doubt had settled. Anxiousness and uncertainty wielded its head. I couldn’t tell you up from down or left from right. I didn’t know myself let alone what Almighty God was trying to say to me. I believed God was speaking to me. But I no longer believed I could accurately hear Him. 

And yet, I know He’s with me. My mind can separate God from what people did. However, discouragement has still had its way in my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I’ve had to approach my relationship differently. Slowly. If you’ve found yourself in a similar situation, here’s how I’ve been showing up to become the confident daughter I truly desire to be:

1 The first step is realizing there is a barrier. Spiritual warfare is real. But we also need to make some practical steps in acknowledging the wound that got us here to properly heal it. 

2 Be ready for a journey. Your relationship with God has always been a process of learning, growth, conviction, obedience, love, worship, and adjusting your lens on life. It’s not going to happen overnight. If the spiritual fruit of patience sends you into a frenzy the way it does me, just make a mental note for future reference reminders. 

3 Throw your rules out. Getting on my knees to pray is cute, but sometimes I only have the strength to talk to God from the pillow. Recognizing that He loves me just the same is relieving.

4 Trust your God-given counsel. This can be difficult especially when you’ve had a run-in with some manipulative people. However, being able to have a sounding board can help with seeing clearly. Although you ultimately are learning to trust what God gave to you directly, friends and family with unconditional love for you and no agenda can help restore you in so many ways. 

5 Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Sometimes we are waiting to hear a word from God and He is speaking in what is happening around us. For example, although I loved where I was, so much let me know that I was not at the home God had for me. I lost my job, and for months couldn’t get a new one, Uber delivery was like pulling straws every day of the week, and my sister kept randomly asking me when I was coming home. So in all my stubbornness, God was painting a path for me that I had thought about previously but tried to discard. So I moved. And when I did, I got a job, got a promotion, I’m living life more and my mood has been regulated on a more consistent basis.  

6 Read your Bible. This goes without saying. It’s the top way to understand God’s voice. Become more familiar with God’s word for yourself so His voice will be just as familiar. 

7 Make prayer consistent, even when you don’t feel like it. Even if it’s just 5 minutes. Show up to have time with Him. 

When it comes to learning how to hear God’s voice, most people start with what I listed in the last 2. But for me, it’s been important to establish some practical steps along with my spiritual. When your issue is not with God, but with yourself it’s important to take a different approach. You may find some other ways that help you regain your confidence. Lean into those moments. It’s a relationship. It ebbs and flows. There are highs and there will be lows. If you can fight through the weeds to reestablish your trust and confidence in God, His relationship with you only has the chance of getting stronger than it ever was. He’s willing to meet you where you’re at, now is the time for you to do the same.