Rewritten
I remember as a young girl riding up to our home. The police lights were flashing, my heart was pounding. I asked my mom question after question wondering what happened and did someone really break-in. Her frustration grew as she repeated “ I don’t know Felicia” to a couple of them until she snapped and told me to calm down. So quietly my mind raced creating scenario after scenario as we waited. What if the robber came out and up to us while the police were inside? What if he hid so well and came to hurt us after the police left?
As it turned out, it was a false alarm. Our dog set off the alarm.
I was worried for nothing at all. But isn’t that how our mind works? It gets worked up, anxious, worried for absolutely nothing.
And it wouldn’t be the last time.
I laid in my bed crying my eyes out. The person who I felt understood me the most, just hurt me AGAIN. How can you love someone, look them in the eyes, say “I won’t do it again”, and then go and get some other girl pregnant? Here I am wondering will I ever find someone else. I don’t like change, I don’t want to go through the process of having to open up again so I was hoping his promises would come through that he could change. Now I’m left wondering if something is wrong with me. What did I do? Why wasn’t I woman enough to keep him interested?
I had come to a point of painting myself as how others saw me. I thought my worth depended on how I was treated. I thought I had to be good enough.
The truth was I had reached a low. Empty, confused, insecure, worthless, rejected, shamed, guilty.
Here I was creating things in my mind again. This time not just about my future but even cultivating who I was. We all do it. Our mind is powerful. But let me ask you this, who could explain Phenomenal Woman better than the writer herself? Who could explain the process and purpose of Beychella than Beyonce? So when it comes to us, why do we create scenarios for our future? Why do we base our value on the opinions of other people? Why do we compare ourselves to society’s standards? Why do we decide “our truth”? Why do we defend ourselves with “that’s just me”?
Who created you?
Your parents put physical traits together. But who really designed you from the inside out before you hit the world?
Your Heavenly Father.
God says don’t fear, I have given you a future, plans for good and full of hope. God says He loves you unconditionally, you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are designed with a purpose in mind and He even sent His Son to restore relationship with you. By understanding this you should know you have power given to you from grace and mercy to renew your mind.
“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Romans 12:1-2 NLT
God didn’t desire those negativne things to be in your heart. But here we are. Luckily we have the ability to completely surrender in our relationship and become rewritten.
Rewritten mind. Rewritten heart, rewritten perspective, rewritten identity, to see as He sees, starting with ourselves.
God’s ways are not our ways.
And the discovery of your identity is not a destination! Being rewritten is a journey. It’s enjoying God’s love upon you as you continue to reveal who He says you are.
If you have stepped out on faith and surrendered to God, I’m proud of you.
If you know God but desire to know him deeper on a personal level, then join me. If you don’t know Him at all, but know that there's an emptiness you feel about life but can't quite name it, then you are welcome. Allow God to show himself to you. Let's journey together. Because no one is perfect and there is always room for more growth.
Rewrite your past by allowing God to paint your future. Rewrite your story. Rewrite your guilt. Rewrite who you think you are. Rewritten hearts lead to obedience. And obedience is God’s love language.
It’s not about where you’re not. It’s about not staying where you’ve been. The page is yours, what will you allow God to do on it?
By: Felicia Morgan